handjobs are fuckin lame i can do that myself


(via kath4rin4)


when i make a joke to myself and no one’s around to hear it



(via idjit-winchesters-in-the-impala)

"Nothing in the world smells as good as the person you love."

Unknown (a knot in my throat now)

(Source: toinfinityandswann, via these-fading-scars)

"When they ask me about my future wife, I always tell them that her eyes are the only Christmas lights that deserve to be seen all year long. I tell them that she has a walk that can make an atheist believe in God just long enough to say, ‘God damn’. I tell them that if my alarm clock sounded like her voice, my snooze button would collect dust. I tell them that if she came in a bottle, I would drink her until my vision is blurry and my friends take away my keys. I tell them that if she was a book, I would memorize her table of contents. I would read her, cover to cover, hoping to find typos, just so we could both have something to work on, because aren’t we all unfinished?"

Rudy Francisco, A Lot Like You (via larmoyante)

(via i-hate-my-fucking-self)


no wonder they’re called oral presentations they suck dick

(via insidetheaimlessmind)


im actually a really sad person and you wouldn’t expect that

(via hopeless--child)